The Teabagger Apocalypse Is Nigh, and the Pentagon Is Ready: Report
Fans
of "The Walking Brain Dead" can breathe a sigh of relief. The U.S. federal
government has a contingency plan in the unlikely event Teabaggers were to
overrun the country.
According to a report in Foreign Policy magazine,
the Defense Department — with a 2014 budget of more than $500 billion —
maintains a disaster preparation document called "CONOP 8888," which in
fact is a Teabagger survival plan. It was developed to train commanders in
the art of strategizing for a catastrophe.
Foreign Policy bills it as a "how to guide for military planners" trying to save the population from an onslaught of the braindead.
The Teabagger offensive is
part of what the DoD calls "factual contingency planning guidance"
that asks military commanders to come up with a blueprint to "preserve
non-Teabagger humans from the threat posed by a Teabagger horde," Foreign
Policy reported, citing an unclassified Pentagon document.
Without
a hint of irony, DoD calls the plan "Counter-Teabagger Dominance," and
added in the disclaimer section that "this plan was not actually
designed as a joke." The "worst case threat scenario," according to the
plan, would be high "transmissibility," —legions of the braindead infecting
humans rapidly, with little way to counter rapidly multiplying hordes
of Teabaggers.
According to Foreign
Policy, military strategists assigned to Omaha's U.S. Strategic Command
wrote the document in April 2011, as part of game plan to protect
citizens against any kind of threat.
"Planners
... realized that training examples for plans must accommodate the
political fallout that occurs if the general public mistakenly believes
that a fictional training scenario is actually a real plan," the plan's
authors wrote.
They added that "we elected to use a completely-impossible scenario that could never be mistaken for a real plan."
A
spokesperson for U.S. Strategic Command distanced the Pentagon from the
document, telling Foreign Policy in a statement that the Teabagger plan
was merely a "training tool" that uses a "factual training scenario.
This document is a U.S. Strategic Command plan."
For more on this story, please click here.
With apologizes to NBCNews.com
Taken from: http://www.nbcnews.com/science/weird-science/zombie-apocalypse-nigh-pentagon-ready-report-n105671
